In honor of this most historic occasion, here are 100 things Sean and Mike could have been doing instead of publishing verbose and utterly inane posts on this digital bulletin board:
100 - Sleeping.
99 - Reading books.
98 - Learning a trade, like carpentry or plumbing. That would come in handy.
97 - Teaching ourselves a foreign language.
96 - Talking to our significant others.
95 - Walking the dog.
94 - Playing Scrabble.
93 - Making dinner.
92 - Writing that pesky novel.
91 - Vacuuming.
90 - Napping.
89 - Chatting with the neighbors.
88 - Picking up the telephone.
87 - Writing letters to our pen pals.
86 - Listening to NPR.
85 - Listening to Slayer.
84 - Volunteering at our local soup kitchen.
83 - Cleaning the bathroom.
82 - Writing sonnets for our loved ones.
81 - Remembering 9/11.
80 - Dozing.
79 - Becoming better bowlers.
78 - Landscaping.
77 - Trying to wrap our puny little minds around quantum physics.
76 - Taking another remedial math class.
75 - Exercising.
74 - Working on our tans.
73 - Doing the dishes.
72 - Scrap booking.
71 - Plotting our next Disneyland vacation.
70 - Resting.
69 - Investing in a hammock.
68 - Putting money away in a CD.
67 - Giving money away.
66 - Developing a healthy drug addiction.
65 - Selling our bodies to science.
64 - Selling our bodies to lonely men.
63 - Selling our bodies to blind women.
62 - Teaching illiterate adults how to read.
61 - Teaching bears how to read.
60 - Taking a siesta.
59 - Becoming fathers.
58 - Becoming grandfathers.
57 - Getting a goddamn haircut.
56 - Retaking the Myers-Briggs personality test.
55 - Signing up for a credit card.
54 - Remembering our loved ones' birthdays.
53 - Memorizing Shakespeare.
52 - Buying a smoking jacket.
51 - Smoking.
50 - Dreaming.
49 - Killing our dinner with our own two hands.
48 - Building a fort.
47 - Learning to dance.
46 - Working on our magic act.
45 - Working on our magic act (with the ladies.)
44 - Sending away for free samples.
43 - Becoming lumberjacks.
42 - Wandering around aimlessly.
41 - Finding a trampoline. Proceeding to jump on it.
40 - Passing out.
39 - Making hot chocolate.
38 - Riding bikes down to the park.
37 - Swinging on the swings.
36 - Jumping off the swings.
35 - Hurting ourselves.
34 - Crying.
33 - Donating blood.
32 - Donating plasma.
31 - Loitering.
30 - Being unconscious.
29 - Debunking numerology.
28 - Protesting something.
27 - Protecting something.
26 - Reading the thesaurus.
25 - Waxing on.
24 - Waxing off.
23 - Designing miniature golf courses.
22 - Making mimosas.
21 - Drinking mimosas.
20 - Just shutting our eyes for a few minutes.
19 - Reliving the '90s.
18 - Sighting wrongs.
17 - Writing songs.
16 - Making mixtapes.
15 - Taking our vitamins.
14 - Finishing what we sta
13 - Robbing banks.
12 - Graduating from clown college.
11 - Making our parents proud.
10 - Did I mention sleeping? It's like my favorite thing to do.
9 - Working on our rap skills.
8 - Contemplating the meaning of it all. And by it, we mean women's volleyball.
7 - Selling our souls for fun.
6 - Building an ark.
5 - Skateboarding.
4 - Finding our keys.
3 - Making lists with actual, tangible importance, like one for groceries. Did we even realize we were out of bread??
2 - Watching movies.
1 - Getting real jobs.